Why do we sacrifice self-care? A personal reflection on stress and “body budget”
Me and my great shadow in Winter Park Dec. 2024
This past weekend, I had my first ski outing of the season. Skiing is something I learned to do later in life, when I was over 30. At first, I didn’t feel entirely comfortable with it, but recently I’ve come to truly enjoy it. Now I feel more confident and secure, and I’ve realized something wonderful: when I ski, I focus entirely on what I’m doing at that moment. I feel my legs, I pay attention to the path, I feel the wind on my face, and I carefully observe the trees around me and the snow resting on their branches. It's a moment of total presence.
This time, while skiing, I paused for a moment to appreciate all of this and feel grateful for the chance to be fully present and enjoy each second. As I stopped, I noticed my shadow cast on the snow, and I was struck by how long my legs appeared. That image reminded me of an experience I had nearly 20 years ago when I suffered a temporary paralysis in my legs due to accumulated stress. At that moment, I felt even more thankful for the ability to move freely and confidently. Something we often take for granted but can change in the blink of an eye.
That reflection led me to ask: Why do we sacrifice self-care?
Stress: A badge of honor
Today, stress has become a “badge of honor” in our society. Being constantly busy, stressed, and having a full schedule is seen as a symbol of success. It seems that the more exhausted we are, the more valuable we are. Stress has become synonymous with productivity and achievement, which leads us to put our self-care needs on the back burner.
I remember clearly when I experienced that paralysis. My body literally told me “stop.” It was a wake-up call about something very simple yet fundamental: our body always sends us signals, and if we don’t listen, the price can be very high.
The culture of sacrifice: Be a hero or be healthy?
In my coaching practice, I’ve noticed that many people feel their value is tied to their level of sacrifice. The “workaholic” who is always available, says yes to everything, and sacrifices their time and health to meet external expectations seems to be the figure that is celebrated in the work environment. We are praised when we are drained, but with the false sense that we’re doing something important.
How many times have I heard phrases like: “I’m so tired, but I feel good because I know what I’m doing is important”? That external validation — the recognition from others — gives us a sense of purpose, but it also diverts us from the path of holistic well-being.
What happens when that recognition comes at the expense of our physical and mental health?
The “body budget” and the cost of ignoring the signals
This is where the concept of the body budget from neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett becomes crucial. The body budget is the idea that our brain constantly predicts how much energy expenditure we need for our daily activities, emotions, decisions, and thoughts. Every task, every interaction, consumes energy. And self-care is the way we replenish that energy.
When we don’t prioritize self-care, our body budget goes into deficit. And even though we may not notice it immediately, sooner or later, our body will send us signs of exhaustion, stress, or even illness. Ignoring those signals comes at a high cost, as I personally learned the hard way.
Self-care is not a luxury, it’s a necessity
When emotional pressures from leadership, work demands, and societal expectations take over, it’s easy to overlook self-care. But I want to remind you of something very important: self-care is not a luxury, it is a necessity. It’s fundamental for our physical, emotional, and mental health. It’s the foundation for being the best version of ourselves and for being able to care for others.
Here are a few practical tips to start integrating self-care into your life, which have worked for me:
Recognize the value of self-care: Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary. If we don’t take care of ourselves, how can we lead, inspire, and care for others?
Start with small actions and be consistent: You don’t have to make drastic changes. Start with something simple, like walking for 10 minutes a day without checking your phone, practicing deep breathing before important meetings, or taking 20 minutes to have a peaceful lunch. The key is consistency.
Set boundaries and learn to say no: It’s tough, but it’s essential. Delegating tasks and learning to say no are some of the most effective ways to conserve your energy and avoid burnout.
Listen to your body: Don’t ignore the signs. If you’re feeling tired or drained, it’s important to listen to what your body is telling you. Health is a precious resource, and we shouldn’t wait for a crisis to start taking care of ourselves.
A call to action: Prioritize your well-being
Today, I invite you to reflect: How are you taking care of yourself? Are you prioritizing your well-being amidst your responsibilities? If the answer is no, it’s time for a change. Without a healthy body and mind, everything else is affected.
I encourage you to take that first step today. It doesn’t have to be anything big. The important thing is to begin, no matter how small the change.
Share your experience or any self-care tips that have worked for you.
