Control life or learn to surf it?

Surfing lesson#1 SCM. Oahu, Hawaii Nov 2024. Photo credit: OSS (my husband)

Trying to control life can be like trying to stop the waves of the ocean: exhausting and ultimately impossible. This metaphor came alive for me last year when I traveled with my family to Hawaii, and we decided to take surfing lessons. I’ve always loved the beach, but I’d never dared to get on a surfboard. I discovered then that surfing — far from being simple — is a liberating experience that teaches us to let go and flow with each wave, without resistance.

This experience deeply resonated with a lesson from the Positive Intelligence program I recently went through: Life is not meant to be controlled.

But, of course, if life isn’t about control, it also doesn’t mean we should stay stuck in our “comfort zone.”  Instead, we are called to create, build, and surf through our existence, finding a balance between intention and flexibility.

Today, I want to share some reflections on how this approach can transform our personal lives, professional careers, and relationships in all areas.

💥 Create: Visualize a life that aligns with your values

Creating doesn’t mean having every detail figured out or being in full control. It’s about pausing and connecting with what we really want.  By letting go of the need for control, we make space to visualize the path we desire, where our values, aspirations, and dreams have a place. Creating our life also means allowing ourselves to step out of our comfort zone and giving ourselves room to grow.

Ask yourself: Do I feel inspired by what I do? Am I motivated by a vision that brings value and meaning? Are my actions aligned with my true priorities?

Tip: Take a few minutes each week to review your goals and reflect on how they align with your current values. Visualizing the life you want gives you clarity to prioritize what truly matters.

💪 Build: Take intentional steps without expecting perfection

Creating an inspiring vision is only the beginning. To make that vision a reality, we need to build our path step by step.  However, building isn’t about striving for perfection; it’s about taking small, sustainable actions that move us closer to that ideal life. In both personal and professional spheres, moving forward without getting bogged down by every detail allows us to enjoy the process.

Ask yourself: Am I waiting to have all the answers or feel completely prepared before I build my life? Do I make decisions with a growth mindset and openness to continuous learning?

Tip: Rather than seeking perfection, focus on progress. Every week, take one step toward your goals, and remember that continuous improvement is more powerful than unattainable perfection.

🏄 Surf: Be flexible and learn to adapt to the unexpected

Surfing means accepting what we cannot change and responding in the best way possible. Just as the waves in surfing are unpredictable, in life, we can’t control when challenges will come or what they’ll look like. Instead of resisting, we can learn to go with the flow, adapt to each situation, trust our ability to handle any wave, and even enjoy it!

Ask yourself: Do I live under constant stress, or do I choose to face difficult situations and unexpected changes as opportunities for growth and learning?

Tip: When facing an unexpected change or challenge, remember that you can choose how to respond. Pause, breathe, and visualize how you might surf that situation rather than resisting it. Flexibility is key to staying balanced.

Conclusion

Life is not a checklist to complete nor a straight path toward a specific destination. It’s a dynamic process where, sometimes, we let our creativity flow, other times we move forward with intention, and often, we simply let ourselves go, trusting the natural flow of events.

Each obstacle and every crisis is an opportunity to expand our capabilities, rethink our priorities, and reconnect with what’s essential.  By learning to let go of control and flow, we open the door to a more genuine, purposeful life.  When we embrace this “surfing” mindset, we transform uncertainty into an opportunity for growth; anxiety and stress decrease, change becomes an ally, and we start to enjoy the journey, even in times of uncertainty.

Although I have not graduated as a surfer -nor as a human being :)-, today, I choose to create, build, and surf through my life, letting go of the need for control and trusting in the journey. I am open to discovering, learning, and evolving with each step.

💬 And you? What’s one area where you could let go of control to live with more meaning and connection?

If this approach inspires you and you would like some help exploring new ways to surf your life, let's talk!