What it really means to be strong: Lessons from “Do Hard Things” and my journey as a coach
Hiking 2025. Photo credit: SCM
For a long time, I believed that being strong meant wearing armor.
An invisible shield that kept repeating phrases like:
“I can handle it all.”
“I don’t need help.”
“Nothing can break me.”
And on the outside, I looked unstoppable. Smiling, efficient, always in control.
But inside, I was exhausted. My body was paying the price, and my mind too.
I was juggling all my responsibilities at home and at work, trying to be everywhere, never allowing myself to show how I truly felt.
Until I collapsed. My health started to deteriorate. My relationships too.
The Day I Took Off the Armor
Three years ago, I made a decision that was difficult but deeply liberating: I dropped the façade.
I dared to show my vulnerability.
To say what I liked and what I didn’t.
To set boundaries.
To choose more consciously where I wanted to be… and where I no longer wanted to stay.
That was the turning point in my life.
What I Learned from Do Hard Things
Not long ago, while reading Do Hard Things by Steve Magness, I revisited my own journey.
He too once believed that strength meant enduring pain in silence, running harder, pushing more, never admitting weakness.
But over time, he realized that this so-called “strength” was actually pulling him further away from his best self.
His insight — and mine — is that:
✦ Strength is not soulless discipline or fear disguised as control.
✦ True strength emerges when we accept discomfort and learn to navigate it.
✦ Resilience is not about pretending everything is fine, but about daring to be vulnerable, to ask for help, and to respond with awareness.
What I See in Myself… and in My Clients
The same pattern shows up in coaching.
The people who try to “handle it all” often end up drained, with no energy and no clarity.
But those who allow themselves to be human, to recognize what they feel, to say no, to set boundaries — they discover a deeper, steadier, more authentic strength than they ever imagined.
Misunderstood strength disconnects us.
Authentic resilience brings us back to what truly matters: living in alignment with our values.
Let Me Ask You
☞ In what part of your life are you putting on a mask of strength when what you really need is support?
☞ What would change if you started seeing your vulnerability as a source of strength?
I’ve been there too. And if these questions resonate with you, know this: you are not alone. There is another way.
